Thursday, March 7, 2013

Steady Ground

"I have a habit of getting scared when things get too good.  I expect life to be full of the little good, but when it is full of the big good that just makes me nervous.  I am too apt to get used to this new and perfect way of living and am terrified of the rug getting yanked out from under me, leaving me not only rug-less, but with my toes chafing at the memory."- June 13, 2012

It is now 9 months since I had that thought.  It is still true.  Happiness still scares me.  At least the idea of happiness.  What a funny thought for a girl who is living a life that makes her more happy than anything she could have possibly imagined.  And that is the trick, I guess.  Learning to accept the rugs being yanked, because more than likely there is something better underneath.  Roots can never be spread and foundations never settled until we find the soil, often hidden under the gaudy rugs.

As I planned my wedding, there were plenty of rugs.  Things that for some reason I convinced myself would be happiness.  One by one they were pulled.  There went the perfectly matching ties, there went the flawless bridal pictures, there went the first dance.  But as I found my footing in what was left, I realized that the steady ground provided by a love that promises forever was more happiness than I could have even grasped.  And more than happiness, it was strength.

I'm going through our wedding pictures.  Josh looks wobbly leaning on me, trying to keep his balance.  We are wind blown and tired, but we look happy.  Josh can lean on me as much as he needs to though.  I've found the soil.  I am starting to grow my roots.      

Monday, September 24, 2012

Heart Songs

I have a collection of un-posted blog posts.  Sentences I've started and then quickly decide are too embarrassing to finish.  It's silly, because lets be honest, there are a very select few people who read this blog and I have full confidence that those select few will continue to love me regardless of how cornball I sound.  It is still hard.

So in the spirit of doing hard things and in the spirit of trying to be more honest with myself, here is a completed thought that was born several months ago...
I am a firm believer in the existence of heart songs.  When you hear your heart song, you are reminded a little bit more of who you are yourself.  I find that I often forget those truthy things about myself that I've learned through experiences, sometimes good, sometimes bad, but always when I am being stretched.  Heart songs carry those memories in their melodies, so that when we hear them we say, "oh this is what is important.  I remember now."

The tendency to forget priorities is all too easy.  That's why it is so important to surround yourself with people and things and colors and light that will sing your heart song to you whenever you need it.  And especially in times when you think that you don't.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Have you gotten your vitamin d today?

Spring is here and I love it!  On my drive to work every morning there is a long, tree-lined street.  In the fall it was beautiful and a highlight of my day.  Just a few weeks ago, as I was driving to work, I had the conscience thought that this street was going to be beautiful again real soon.  Well that time has come.  I'll have to take a picture.  Every tree has blossomed.  Is there a better feeling than the surprise recognition of natural beauty all around us?

I read this article today and found it not only to be timely, but also to just feel true.  So, read it, let me know what you think, then join me for a hike?
Nature-Deficit Disorder  

Friday, February 24, 2012

Because I'm just real grateful for these cuties in my life...

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The love of a good woman...

With all the prop 8 confusion going on, it is nice to read something like the following from Nicholas Kristof's lastest article in the NY Times, The White Underclass:
"Liberals sometimes feel that it is narrow-minded to favor traditional marriage. Over time, my reporting on poverty has led me to disagree: Solid marriages have a huge beneficial impact on the lives of the poor (more so than in the lives of the middle class, who have more cushion when things go wrong).
One study of low-income delinquent young men in Boston found that one of the factors that had the greatest impact in turning them away from crime was marrying women they cared about. As Steven Pinker notes in his recent book, “The Better Angels of Our Nature”: “The idea that young men are civilized by women and marriage may seem as corny as Kansas in August, but it has become a commonplace of modern criminology.”

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


Wonder Dog

This is a long read, but everyone knows I'm a sucker for dog stories.  If you're not a dog lover and can get through it all, I promise you'll be converted.  If however, you have long been a true believer of the axiom dog is man's best friend, prepare for a cry fest.